Leaning West
It was a typical day in my motherhood world. The routine looked like this...
Wake up to toddler demanding freedom from the crib and his morning milk.
Sign a field trip slip for the 12 year old.
Make the 9 year old's lunch staple- peanut butter and jelly on a single slice of bread, folded in half rectangle, not triangle.
Hunt for the 6 year old's second shoe to any and every pair she owns.
Breakfast.
Morning prayer.
Chauffeur the carpool.
Fit in an hour of exercise.
Shower.
Load the dishwasher and notice three bowls of half eaten cereal.
Play cars with the toddler.
Meet a friend for lunch.
Read naptime stories and sing lullabys to toddler while cherishing every moment knowing he's my last baby.
Relish in a few hours of quiet involving prayerful meditation, scriptures, family history, emails, social media, all with a cup of hot cocoa and the Ranch Doritos bag within arm's reach.
Silence the phone alarm set 20 mins before the school bell.
Gather shoes, keys, and purse.
Buckle toddler.
Proceed to the kids' school.
I drove on autopilot down the long stretch of road to the school. It was a blue sky sunny day. The world outside was calm and full of life. My world inside was a tornado sucking the life out of me. The demon thoughts of "how", "why", "what if" made their way to the forefront of my mind. They demanded attention. Some questions acknowledged hard choices completely in my control. Other questions acknowledged things beyond my control that affected me greatly. Entertaining them gave rise to doubt, doubt to fear, fear to mistrust, mistrust to despair. Then the tears came. I worked myself into a panic and I had only two minutes to pull out of it before the girls would come and see me like this. I swiped down through my playlist to pick a favorite soul soothing song.
The school bell rang, out came the kids. The 6 year old obliviously chatter-boxed through the fun of her day. The 9 year old observed the red in my eyes and commented. I tried my best to put her mind at ease. I made a U-turn with the car and started back down the long stretch of road to home.
This time though, my autopilot paused and for a moment something very ordinary in the landscape stood out to me in an extraordinary way.
The tree line.
It's February here in small town USA. Our city nestles right against the mountain base. Anyone familiar with mountain base living knows the canyon wind rolls down the slope each night. The row of bare trees I saw before me were tall, mature trees. The base of their trunks appeared straight enough, but their finger tip branches all leaned west toward the sunset due to years of growing with the eastern wind blowing through them.
"It's not just this row of trees," I thought. "Every tree in the city has limbs leaning west." It's something quirky I've always loved about the landscape in my town.
Today those trees spoke to me. They told me they grew from good seed, they were nourished with rich soil and adequate water, some of them were even staked by their owners when they were saplings. They spent their entire life obediently growing toward the sun, but even in doing all they were meant to do for optimal development, they still bowed slightly from the consistency of that nightly roaring wind. They will never be perfectly straight trees.
As a kid I was nourished by loving parents. My roots were set in good soil. I received all the resources and training to develop into a strong adult. I try to be a good Christian and follow the Son of God. I could've never imagined as a kid though, the impact of the consistent, nightly wind Adversary at my back. Adversity is always blowing through me. Perhaps you feel the same way, dear Reader. Some of that adversity can be chalked up to mortal life and our natural man fallen state. Some of that adversity comes from the Adversary himself- Master of Mischief, Creator of Chaos, Seeker of Spiritual Death for all. He huffs and puffs until at last I am chilled to the bone, weary and weak, wondering if it's worth it to stay strong and continue obediently following the Son.
I pondered on those trees and the wisdom they whispered to me. Then something spoke to me from deep within my memory. It was a favorite quote I first heard years ago.
“When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.” -Ezra T. Benson
Those trees are only trees, they know no better than to grow toward the light. They are perfectly obedient. It is their quest simply because they're made to proceed through a biological process. They embark on their quest without deviation and they are endowed with power. Those trees bow permanently from the wind. To the naked eye they look off balance, maybe even haggard. They are, however, completely endowed with power. Their limbs bud each spring. By summer they boast a beautiful green sun shade. They flower and cast seeds for more growth. In autumn they dazzle in rich hues of yellow, orange, and red. They live the life they are supposed to live. They powerfully do all that they were created to do.
Can we have hope in the same principle as it relates to human nature? The adverse weather conditions nagging at our souls may be irritating and seem too heavily weighted against us. Let us not project that irritation over to the light and resent the work of growing toward the Son. While it is work, and a life long pursuit, let us never grow tired of seeking obedience to God. Let us valiantly make it our quest, always remembering that the power to do all that we were created to do is only available to us by following Christ. There is no other source. He is the Light of the World. He gives Life to my world. He gives Life to yours. There is absolutely nothing wrong with growing bent and leaning west.
Wake up to toddler demanding freedom from the crib and his morning milk.
Sign a field trip slip for the 12 year old.
Make the 9 year old's lunch staple- peanut butter and jelly on a single slice of bread, folded in half rectangle, not triangle.
Hunt for the 6 year old's second shoe to any and every pair she owns.
Breakfast.
Morning prayer.
Chauffeur the carpool.
Fit in an hour of exercise.
Shower.
Load the dishwasher and notice three bowls of half eaten cereal.
Play cars with the toddler.
Meet a friend for lunch.
Read naptime stories and sing lullabys to toddler while cherishing every moment knowing he's my last baby.
Relish in a few hours of quiet involving prayerful meditation, scriptures, family history, emails, social media, all with a cup of hot cocoa and the Ranch Doritos bag within arm's reach.
Silence the phone alarm set 20 mins before the school bell.
Gather shoes, keys, and purse.
Buckle toddler.
Proceed to the kids' school.
I drove on autopilot down the long stretch of road to the school. It was a blue sky sunny day. The world outside was calm and full of life. My world inside was a tornado sucking the life out of me. The demon thoughts of "how", "why", "what if" made their way to the forefront of my mind. They demanded attention. Some questions acknowledged hard choices completely in my control. Other questions acknowledged things beyond my control that affected me greatly. Entertaining them gave rise to doubt, doubt to fear, fear to mistrust, mistrust to despair. Then the tears came. I worked myself into a panic and I had only two minutes to pull out of it before the girls would come and see me like this. I swiped down through my playlist to pick a favorite soul soothing song.
The school bell rang, out came the kids. The 6 year old obliviously chatter-boxed through the fun of her day. The 9 year old observed the red in my eyes and commented. I tried my best to put her mind at ease. I made a U-turn with the car and started back down the long stretch of road to home.
This time though, my autopilot paused and for a moment something very ordinary in the landscape stood out to me in an extraordinary way.
The tree line.
It's February here in small town USA. Our city nestles right against the mountain base. Anyone familiar with mountain base living knows the canyon wind rolls down the slope each night. The row of bare trees I saw before me were tall, mature trees. The base of their trunks appeared straight enough, but their finger tip branches all leaned west toward the sunset due to years of growing with the eastern wind blowing through them.
"It's not just this row of trees," I thought. "Every tree in the city has limbs leaning west." It's something quirky I've always loved about the landscape in my town.
Today those trees spoke to me. They told me they grew from good seed, they were nourished with rich soil and adequate water, some of them were even staked by their owners when they were saplings. They spent their entire life obediently growing toward the sun, but even in doing all they were meant to do for optimal development, they still bowed slightly from the consistency of that nightly roaring wind. They will never be perfectly straight trees.
As a kid I was nourished by loving parents. My roots were set in good soil. I received all the resources and training to develop into a strong adult. I try to be a good Christian and follow the Son of God. I could've never imagined as a kid though, the impact of the consistent, nightly wind Adversary at my back. Adversity is always blowing through me. Perhaps you feel the same way, dear Reader. Some of that adversity can be chalked up to mortal life and our natural man fallen state. Some of that adversity comes from the Adversary himself- Master of Mischief, Creator of Chaos, Seeker of Spiritual Death for all. He huffs and puffs until at last I am chilled to the bone, weary and weak, wondering if it's worth it to stay strong and continue obediently following the Son.
I pondered on those trees and the wisdom they whispered to me. Then something spoke to me from deep within my memory. It was a favorite quote I first heard years ago.
“When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.” -Ezra T. Benson
Those trees are only trees, they know no better than to grow toward the light. They are perfectly obedient. It is their quest simply because they're made to proceed through a biological process. They embark on their quest without deviation and they are endowed with power. Those trees bow permanently from the wind. To the naked eye they look off balance, maybe even haggard. They are, however, completely endowed with power. Their limbs bud each spring. By summer they boast a beautiful green sun shade. They flower and cast seeds for more growth. In autumn they dazzle in rich hues of yellow, orange, and red. They live the life they are supposed to live. They powerfully do all that they were created to do.
Can we have hope in the same principle as it relates to human nature? The adverse weather conditions nagging at our souls may be irritating and seem too heavily weighted against us. Let us not project that irritation over to the light and resent the work of growing toward the Son. While it is work, and a life long pursuit, let us never grow tired of seeking obedience to God. Let us valiantly make it our quest, always remembering that the power to do all that we were created to do is only available to us by following Christ. There is no other source. He is the Light of the World. He gives Life to my world. He gives Life to yours. There is absolutely nothing wrong with growing bent and leaning west.
Love the imagery and comparison. Beautifully written!
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